I’m not sure when I first heard the word mindset or if I even understood what it meant. But I am certainly very aware of it now. I grew up in a pessimistic home. A family that waited for the other shoe to drop. Where the assumption was that life is hard and not to expect too much out of it or other people.

 

Of course, I wasn’t aware of any of this as a child. I just thought that people complained, all the time, about everything, and that this was normal. I also grew up in a home where my parent was gripped by fear and anxiety. It was as if she were waiting for the next bad thing to happen, and so it did. We lived simply and on very little money, but life was ok.

 

It wasn’t until 2008 that I really became aware of mindset. My boss looked at me in a meeting one day, as I was shooting down someone’s idea, and said, “Andrea, why do you have to be so negative?”. I was taken aback. I always thought of myself as a happy person. Did people think I was negative? To entrepreneurs and dreamers, I did come across as negative. I was so used to shoving my dreams to the back burner, waiting for the other shoe to drop, anticipating the worst-case scenario, that I didn’t allow exciting new ideas, “what if it’s possible” dreams, or even true hope to enter my mind.

 

I started learning more by reading books by Dr. Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, Don Miguel Ruiz, Tim Ferris and many more. I attended seminars and workshops. I learned phrases like “Thoughts are Things”. I was shocked at the amount of information available on how our minds work and how they affect our lives. I had no idea that I was carving out neuropathways in my brain by my 3 decades of negative thoughts. I was very surprised to learn that this behavior could be changed. Indeed, it can!

 

I have spent the last 13 years learning to rewire my brain for the positive, for the possible and for the hopeful. What a worthy pursuit. I wouldn’t say it was easy, but it was very necessary and has become a very powerful force in my life and in my business.

 

MINDSET AND BUSINESS

How does your mindset affect your business? If your mind is wired in a way that you are always assuming the best is on its way and that the next client will say yes to your presentation and that you will of course hit all of your income goals this year, then all of those things will almost certainly come to fruition. But imagine this. What if your mind is wired to the negative. What if you think, “I probably won’t get that sale” or “That income goal is way too high for me” or “This business is too hard, I’ll never make it”. How likely do you think success will be for a mind wired for defeat?

 

SELF-AWARENESS

Another phrase or concept that I learned along this journey of mindset, was self-awareness. What is self-awareness and why does it matter? Becoming self-aware is a starting point for self-improvement. By getting to know your thoughts and feelings, your strengths and weaknesses, you can discover why you behave the way you do and how those actions not only affect your life, but those around you as well. The best part is, having the ability to understand yourself and become more aware, gives you the freedom to create a life that you want by creating positive change.

 

The first step to self-awareness is learning to listen to your own thoughts, like I shared above. Pay attention to when you are feeling bad. Pause for a moment and see if there is a thought behind that feeling and identify what it is.

 

The next step is to pay attention to your words. Are you complaining all the time? Are you telling other people about all of your troubles and worries? Are you verbally assuming the worst-case scenario? Take time to dive into this and find out why. Where are these words coming from? What thoughts lit the flame of this complaint-fest you’re on right now?

 

The third step will be a bit more involved, but it is essential to your growth in this area. Set aside some time in solitude and quiet, just you and your thoughts. Bring a journal and pen. Now that you’ve become more aware of your words and your thoughts, you must find out where they are truly coming from. What are the limiting beliefs behind them all, that you may not even be aware, are calling the shots in your life? You need to find out the lies you are telling yourself, the lies you live by.

 

As an entrepreneur, especially in real estate, self-talk matters. What do you really think and believe about yourself? What words do you use to talk about yourself or your business?

 

Words matter. Look at this quote from Gandhi and how everything is interconnected.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, 
Your thoughts become your words, 
Your words become your actions, 
Your actions become your habits, 
Your habits become your values, 
Your values become your destiny.”

― Gandhi

 

What you believe to be true about yourself or your business, turns into your thoughts. Do you know that your brain processes approximately 70,000 thoughts per day? If the majority of those thoughts bend toward the negative, imagine how that is affecting your words, actions, habits and ultimately, your results.

 

Seeds or Weeds

Are you planting seeds or weeds in your mind each day?

Author and Coach Jay Shetty sees all actions, thoughts, and motives as either positive or negative – either seeds or weeds. Being mindful of which kind of fruit a person is sowing is vital.

 

“I want to plant more seeds in the garden of my life. Seeds of compassion, love, purpose, fulfillment, meaning, joy, and service,” Shetty explains. “Weeds are when we do things out of ego, envy, and competition. So, every day, I'm plucking the weeds out of my life, and I'm trying to plant more seeds.”

https://jayshetty.me/blog/jay-shetty-shares-the-only-way-to-inspire-change-in-friends-and-family/

 

What a beautiful image of cultivating good in our minds and in our lives.

 

Think about your favorite person to be around. Are they complaining or negative or a downer? Probably not. I’ll bet your favorite person is upbeat, encouraging, hopeful and positive. If you are in business, which person do you think your clients want to be around? Which person do you think your clients want to listen to and view as an authority?

 

Negative Bias

If we know all of this great information about mindset and how important it is to our lives, then why is it so hard to remain positive and make sure we are planting seeds and not weeds? Do you ever wonder why it is so difficult to stay positive? Or why it is so easy to hear “you need to think positively” but in reality, negative thoughts keep coming into your head? There is actually a scientific reason for it. Humans have a negativity bias.
 

The amazing thing about negative thinking, is that once your mind starts on this path, it rapidly increases the number of negative thoughts in your head. I have watched it in my own life. If I allow myself to complain about something one day, the next day, I will inevitably complain about more things, and the following day, even more. Soon weeks will go by and my overall attitude is more cynical and my words harsher. If you are not aware that you are allowing this to happen in your life, it can spiral downward to the point where it affects your mental health and your relationships with others. Let’s face it, no one wants to be around someone who complains all the time, or looks at everything in a negative way. It’s depressing. The world is so full of problems, and we each carry our own burdens, we definitely don’t need to add other people’s laundry list of complaints to our day.

 

When I see myself going down this path of negativity, I turn it around by #1 being mindful of it. #2 by watching my words. Sometimes I can’t catch a thought, but I can usually hear my words and if they are positive or negative. #3 by choosing gratitude. When I look at my life and count my tremendous list of blessings, I can’t help but be grateful. Gratitude is the antidote to negativity.

 

SELF-LIMITING BELIEF

So, what about those self-limiting beliefs we talked about a few minutes ago? How do those effect our business and our ability to grow and increase revenue?

 

If you are telling yourself words every day that limit you as a person and stifle your growth as a business owner, it’s as if you are dragging your feet through thick, wet cement. Sooner or later those limiting lies will slow you down and eventually stop you from achieving all of the goals you really want in your life.

 

This is the good news- thoughts and beliefs can be re-written! Here are a few that I had to rewrite many years ago in order to unshackle myself.

 

Lie #1- I am not good enough.

This lie had me thinking that I needed to play small. That I was not good enough to achieve my really big dreams. That I could wish all day long, but I’d never really make it as a business owner.

 

If you have held on to any part of that big fat lie, I’m here to tell you, that you can throw it out the window today and write the truth for yourself to believe moving forward.

 

This is what I wrote down for myself to read every single morning until one day I believed it and now I live this new belief instead.

 

Truth: You are MORE than good enough. You are amazing. You are talented. You are kind. You are intelligent. You are a unicorn.

 

My new belief: I am MORE than good enough to achieve anything I set my mind on.

 

Lie #2- I am not worth that much money.

This lie had me accepting less pay than I was worth, not marketing myself in a way that showed my true value and speaking about myself like I was less than.

 

I think women in business may struggle with this lie more than men, but either way, it is a lie and it needs to be rewritten. Here is the truth I told myself and the new belief I now hold to each day.

 

Truth: Correct. You are worth MORE money. You are capable of delivering CEO level skills to your business. You are clearly worth $150K, $250K, $500K and more! You already have what it takes.

 

My new belief: I am worth a six-figure income. I desire to earn $20K per month and MORE.

 

Lie #3- Money is hard to come by.

 

Oh boy. How I lived this lie for a lot of my life. Because that was the reality of my childhood up until my thirties. This lie runs deep for me and sometimes I have to remind myself of the truth even now because the old struggle likes to sneak back in from time to time.

 

If you struggle with this one, find evidence in your life to prove it wrong.

 

Truth: Remember when you used to wake up, jump out of bed, run to your computer, and count the thousands of dollars in your inbox? You’ve made hundreds of thousands of dollars per year and you can do it again.

 

My new belief: Money comes to me effortlessly.

 

If you identified with any of my old self-limiting beliefs, I hope you’ll set aside some time, just you and your journal and write down all of the lies that you are living by. All of the ugly beliefs that have haunted you for years. Write them all down no matter how they sound, with no judgment. This is only for you.

 

Once you have all of those lies staring you in the face, write down the truth. Think of all you have accomplished in your life. Think of how loved you are by so many people. Think of the hardships you have overcome. Think of how kind and good and amazing you are deep down inside. Write out those truths. Feel them, believe them, and declare them out loud. Then, write a new belief out for each one of those old lies. Tape those new beliefs to your mirror, to your wall, to your refrigerator, wherever you want. The old lies are gone. Your new life is already on its way!

 

Let’s face it. Life is really hard. We get let down, disappointed, rejected, and sometimes kicked in the gut. Being a business owner is not easy. Sometimes you feel very alone. There has to be a way to get back up and not become totally derailed when the going gets tough. Thoughts become things and that is the truth. Keep your mind right at all times and watch how it changes your business next year.

 

If you would like more help rewriting your old thought and embracing a new mindset for your business, send me a message. I’d love to talk more about helping you reach your business goals this coming year.

-Andrea

p.s. I created an amazing Business Planning Checklist you can use to make sure you reach all of your goals this coming year. Download your free copy here!